A Sad Garden Tale

I am a pitiful in-the-ground gardener. If I pot the plants in containers, I am less of a pitiful gardener, but it’s still pretty ugly.

My mother, The German, is an amazing gardener.  She can look at something and scare it green.  Me, not so much.

Exhibit A (an article I wrote a spring or so back)

My Garden Is Giving Me The Finger

I’m annoyed. It’s almost summertime (HA! Who else in Texas just shot sweet tea out their nose?!) and the promise of a garden full of veggies has not materialized for me and my brownish thumbs. I had such glorious visions of homegrown pico and fat juicy slices of Big Boys on my burgers.

Instead, my garden is giving me the finger.

It should look like a massive tangle of green, dotted with ripening fruit. Instead the plants are a sad looking bunch of non-producers and all around malcontents.

A Sad Garden Tale

My garden hates me and I’m hurt because I gave it everything: water, fertilizer, loving encouragement. Where did I go wrong?

What did I ever do to you?!

This was my second springtime to plant. Will there be a third? I don’t know. The wound is still too deep. The pain is still so fresh.

Maybe I just need some space and perspective. Maybe I should toss the containers and put in a pool.

Swimming. I’m good at that.

Take that you scrawny pitiful excuses for tomato plants.

P.S. Whatever you do, don’t share this with The German and her emerald thumbs. She’ll just blame it all on me…

~~~~~~~~~~~~

There you have it.  I pretty much suck at gardening.  BUT….this year is the year; I feel it.  The sadness over my failure is muted just enough to start afresh, with an idealized image of what the garden will look like, instead of the horrifying images of what it actually looked like.

Oh, ever the optimist!

With any luck, in about 90 days I’ll be showing off my tomatoes and handing over my pico recipe.

DREAMER!

What about you guys?  Green thumbs?  Brown thumbs?  All thumbs?

 

Comments

  1. This post made me laugh so hard! I have to be honest, I love to garden but just flowers and plants, no vegetables! Perhaps I’ll try some tomatoes this year and we can commiserate together! I’ll just bet your garden is going to flourish this year!!! Fingers crossed! Have an awesome day! ~Cindy

  2. Gin says:

    Good luck to you! I’m kinda in the same boat. I never know what the outcome might be.

  3. holly says:

    Oh I have a half green thumb and half brown. Some of my plants thrive, some not so much. Hang in there, you’ll find what works for you!

    Thank you so much for sharing at the Oh What a HAPPY Day party.

    • Mrs. Tucker says:

      My lemon and lime tree thrive in pots. Flowers as well. It’s just hit or miss with those dang tomatoes. Thanks for coming by!

  4. Dona says:

    Well, when I lived it California, my thumb was a pale green. Had some success. Now I live in AZ. The first year here, I grew some tomato plants. They looked beautiful! Got ONE tiny tomato which cooked before I could pick it. Hm. The following year, bush beans. They looked beautiful! Got 7 beans. Off 4 plants. Gave it up for a couple of years. This year I’ve planted some cherry tomatoes and cilantro. I’ll let you know.

  5. oh man, i suck at gardening, too! it is a necessary evil-i want my home to look cute, and i think it’s ok in the plant area, but compared to my super star gardening neighbor, mine pales in comparison. i hate spending money to have things not grow. i hate spending money and time to have squirrels eat or unearth everything i’ve just planted. i hate standing out there in the heat watering. sigh. i want a garden fairy godmother, and i’ll be sure to send her your way, too.

    • Mrs. Tucker says:

      Lol! The one thing I do love is watering. Relaxes me when I see those withering plants thumbing their roots at me.

  6. Casey says:

    Greetings from a black thumb…I kill everything. My most recent victim…a succulent. I thought those were supposed to be hard to kill? Nope if I looked at it wrong the leaves/buds would fall off. You’re not the only one!

  7. Grandma Kc says:

    Loved the article! I have come to believe that you have to find what it is your thumb is green with! I can NOT grow a house plant of any kind to save my life. I kill all of them, it is sad! But lilies and plumerias LOVE me!

    Good luck with those tomatoes!

    • Mrs. Tucker says:

      Lemon and lime trees love me, so I guess I have something to celebrate. I’ll let you know how the tomatoes turn out.

  8. Joyce says:

    Not only do all plants hate me, but they have told their friends not to grow for me either. They are not being mean, just don’t like seeing things die slowly. I am good at growing two things on our shaded lot – weeds and mosquitoes!

  9. Loy says:

    LOL–Compared to my last gardening efforts yours look positively glorious! LOL Very funny post, Mrs. Tucker. Good luck with your tomatoes this year. Happy Monday!

  10. I’ve never been very good with plants but I started gardening last year. I learned a lot and am planning on expanding this year. I just hope it’s not as hot as last year!

    • Mrs. Tucker says:

      Our hot, as in the-heat-that-tries-to-kill-us, starts in about 3 weeks. I gotta get some plants to kill before then.

  11. I estimate that the 2 tomatoes I got off of last year’s plants cost me approximately $35. Therefore, while I will continue to grow herbs, which I’m pretty good at. I will be getting my tomatoes at the Saturday morning farmer’s market. Even with the 23 mile drive, it’s got to be cheaper.

  12. Liz Fourez says:

    You make me laugh!! Thanks for sharing at Time to Sparkle Tuesday : )

    xoxo Liz

  13. Stacey says:

    Oh man you had me laughing! I am a gardener so let me be the first to tell you…marigolds aren’t that easy! They always get buggy and die. Are they in the bucket to keep the tomatoes company? Good luck with the pico garden – that’s always a dream of mine too. Don’t forget the cilantro. :)

    • Mrs. Tucker says:

      LOL! It’s a pic of the tomatoes! The marigolds are thriving, but the sad tomatoe is, well, giving me the finger.

  14. froglipz says:

    I love to garden, but mostly I love that I got my now husband to garden. He took my “lets have a few plants and enjoy some fresh tomatoes” to lets have a huge garden and make whole salads and dinners with everything we grow. Now we are looking at a greenhouse.

Trackbacks

  1. [...] I want to be a gardener, I do.  I’ve given it a try, but as many of your know, my garden gave me the finger. [...]

  2. […] Gardening and I have always had a love-hate relationship.  I love the idea of fresh produce from my own land, yet my garden hates me. […]

  3. […] Some years of gardening are bountiful, some simply give you the finger. […]

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