I’m. Sorry.

Two small words.  Immeasurably large impact.

I’m sorry. 

So simple.  So eloquent.  So rarely offered.

Why is that?

Saying I'm Sorry

Why is it when some have harmed us, intentionally or not, literally or not, gleefully or not, they find it difficult to say, “I’m sorry.”

Why is that so damned hard?

Here’s what I want when I’m the one harmed: Just tell me, in the sincerest manner you can muster, that you are sorry (tears and a quivering lip would be a nice touch and will most likely speed my forgiveness.  oh, and cake.  yes.  chocolate cake.  now you know just how easy i am).  Use these two words: I’m. Sorry.  Maybe throw in a please forgive me? to drive your point home.

Then, give me a minute.  Most likely I’ll not only forgive you, but our relationship will be stronger because you thought enough about us to put yourself in such a vulnerable position.

YES!  Of course I forgive you.  Apology accepted.  Just never ever never do it again.  Um, where’s the cake?

See?  I’m a reasonable gal.

What you shouldn’t then do is pad the apology with the reasons of why you did what you did, or why/how you think I contributed, or that it was just a joke.  Sheesh, can’t you take a joke? 

Jokes I can take.  Bad behavior masquerading as comedy, not so much.

Listen, I know some folks have a hard time with a sincere apology.  They assume it’s a weakness they’d rather not bear.  I’ve talked about this before.  Many equate an apology’s vulnerability with weakness.  In fact the opposite is true.  Just ask anyone who has been the one offering the apology because of some bonehead move they made; ask them if only a weakling could properly apologize.

To say I’m sorry and mean it…to stop at those two words….to not know if the other person will accept your apology, takes courage.

When I’ve screwed up (oh man, how many times have I screwed up?!), I try like hell to get the apology right.  My family and my beloved friends mean more to me than my pride.  Even if it means begging for forgiveness.

PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE, FORGIVE ME!

Life is just too danged short not to set things right.

I know it can be hard.  I know it’s uncomfortable.  I know you might have to bake a chocolate cake.  But, goodness gracious, let us all practice the art of the apology with each other.

APOLOGIZE, DAMNIT!

Dang.  That might have been a bit harsh.  I’m sorry.

Can you please forgive me?

PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE, FORGIVE ME!

~off to bake your cake~

 

 

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Comments

  1. It is sometimes so hard to say “I’m sorry” but you are right–life is too short Plus, when you are on the other side of the coin and have offended someone, it hurts so much not to be forgiven. We need to learn to say sorry. Say it loud And, if possible, say it as soon as you can. Thanks for an enlightening post!

    • Mrs. Tucker says:

      SAY IT LOUD! So much yes! Sometime we screw up, no doubt. I try to offer my forgiveness when offered an apology because I know that horrible feeling of being on the other side. (forgiveness does not equal acceptance. this is an important point for me.)

  2. Very powerful words when said sincerely, but tone of voice can change everything!

  3. I agree! And I love that you added the ‘mean it’ part.

  4. It seems people have a hard time being accountable for their own actions. But, “I’m sorry” can be freeing and it can salvage relationships when they might otherwise be irrevocably damaged. I agree – we all need to say those words more often – and mean them.

  5. You are so right, you are strong if you can give a sincere apology! We all need to do this ~ be strong!

  6. I want to hear, “I’ll never do that again.” I know people that sorry just slips off the tongue ever so easily, but if you promise not to hurt me I’ll forgive you most anything.

    Madonna
    MakeMineLemon

  7. I do appreciate the sincere I’m Sorry’s but I also expect ‘change’ in that person that said they were sorry.

  8. Wonderful words of wisdom! Life is too short not to take responsibility for our actions. I pinned this to my Words to Live By board as a reminder that I need to apologize when I do something wrong.

  9. I think one of the most important things to learn and teach in this life is the art of apologizing. You are so right about not qualifying it or trying to co-opt the responsibility… nicely said. THanks!

  10. I just absolutely melt when someone apologizes to me – that’s how I learned to start doing it myself. I usually get the same results.
    And those politicians! “IN CASE I MAY have offended someone.” ??? ‘Scuse me! You DID offend someone! Just say, “I am sincerely sorry for my words/actions” and be done with it!

  11. It is so true that sincerely apologizing is critical to our own growth, as well as mending/maintaining relationships. Thank you for linking up to Wonderful Wed Blog Hop. Carrie, A Mother’s Shadow

  12. This is one thing that we try to model for our daughter. If we have wronged each other in front of her, then we apologize in front of her. If we have wronged her, then we apologize to her. You are so right that life is too short not to set things right…or eat cake while you’re doing it.

  13. Trying so hard to let my daughter see it’s OK to screw up and good to say sorry … mummy not always her best example!

    • Mrs. Tucker says:

      I think as parents we feel the pressure to always get things right, but as humans we fail. When they see that not only are we authority figures, yet fallible, the lesson in our “I’m sorry” is far-reaching.

  14. Well stated, and I whole-heartedly agree. Funnily enough, I think being able to offer an apology is such a sign of strength of character. I wish more people thought so too, and I hope I always have the strength and confidence to apologize when I need to.

    • Mrs. Tucker says:

      I absolutely agree. Anyone who has had to offer a heartfelt apology know this to be true; it takes strength.

  15. Fantastic post! I know I’m guilty of not saying sorry when I should or saying sorry but trying to rationalize why I did what I did. You are right. We need to just say we’re sorry & have it be sincere.

  16. Great take on saying “I’m sorry.” It’s such a simple phrase, but so hard to say sometimes.
    As long as it is said sincerely, it works!

  17. I love this post. I broke out in tears yesterday thinking about all the horrible things happening in the world and how at the end of the day love is the cure. We hold on to so much negatively life is too short not to love. An apology shouldnt be hard when you love someone

  18. Rocio Chavez (@yoursassyself) says:

    So true, small words, but when heart felt mean the world. Love your take on it, thanks for sharing 😀

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  1. […] know what I have done to piss you off, but I want to take this opportunity to say I’m sorry.  I am heartily sorry for offending you.  Please forgive me.   […]

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