Is It The Same?

I can’t get out of my mind how Boy and Mrs. Boy must be feeling as they round third to FB’s due date.

All the emotions prior to Boy’s birth have settled in my bones these last few weeks.  They appear in moments of quiet.  They shout YES! when I get an update from Boy.  They rush in when I’m shopping at ~name a baby store here~ and touch those tiny receiving blankets or hold out an impossibly miniature outfit.

Do all expectant parents experience the joy?  The mounting excitement?  The fear of the unknown?  Is it the same for them as it was for us? *

I remember feeling anxious for Boy.  Do I have it in me to be a good mother?  This was the main question I asked myself continuously.  How would I know how to mother?  Would it be instinct or would I need to learn from a book or from the older mothers around me? (I was the first of my friend’s group to have a child)

I remember the growing excitement to meet him (although a that point, we didn’t know Boy was a boy). I wondered about his personality and who he would become and how we would help him chase his dreams.  I wondered if he’d have our sense of humor or if he’d be a jock.  I wondered if he’d inherit my bad eyesight or my love of the written word.  I wondered if his features would favor his father or me. I wondered if he would be tall or taller.

I remember looking down and thinking: How the hell will this giant baby come out of my vagina?! (sorry if your retinas just burned-up a little). Of course I knew the physiology of birth…in theory.  Experiencing the strength of labor was entirely different.

In my high school biology class, our teacher told the boys: You want to know what birth feels like?  Try pushing a watermelon through your nose. Scared the crap out of me then and again as I contemplated pushing Boy through my birth canal (again.  sorry about the retinal damage to those of you who are not of the female persuasion).  Turned out, my teacher left out my saving grace: THE DRUGS!

I remember knowing that our lives would never be the same and how I couldn’t put *that* overwhelming, all-encompassing, never-look-back sort of reality into words.  It would simply have to wash over us and be. The humor gene that I wondered about above?

Get ready to point and laugh, here’s one of the very few photos taken towards the end of my pregnancy, about where Mrs. Boy is now (our art selection was stellar):

Oh, Mrs. Tucker!  8-months and holding.

Thinking back over the beginning of Husband’s and my adventure as we started our tiny family, I think I should get Boy and Girl’s thoughts on video for them to keep and then share with FB when their turn comes to be grandparents (God-willing).  The whirling dervish that is the waning days of a pregnancy are almost too much to contain, yet since the beginning of time mothers and fathers of all generations have been knit together in a similar, yet completely unique, experience.

Do you think it’s the same?    

Please Share on Your Favorite Social Media! ~ OMT thanks you! ~
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Comments

  1. Oh how fun to read your hilarious posts! I appreciated your comments on my post and had to come see what Mrs. Tucker is all about! What a hoot!
    You all must be so excited as the big day approaches! So very special becoming a first time Grama!
    I just became Grandma as my mom was and my grandmother was…….never considered other possibilites. Our oldest grdaughter….about age 4 or 5 called me gramcracker one day being silly…..and it stuck! All five refer to me as gramcracker or grandma depending on their needs and moods! 🙂
    Loved reading your marathon post……this gramcracker runs 5 and 10K’s and does Zumba 3 X a week!
    Nice to meet you Mrs. Tucker……keep us posted on the big news!
    Joan@gramcrackercrumbs

    • Mrs. Tucker says:

      Joan: Thank you for such nice words. Gramcracker is the sweetest name; it makes me smile every time I read it!

      Another runner! YAY! I have friends who Zumba, but I’ve never done it. My runner’s heart is totally focused on running 🙂

      Thanks for coming by. Come back soon!

  2. Ha! Great photo! And I love the post, love your words. I need to feature you as a Grilled Grandma for I’d love to hear what you’d say to the questions. Hmmm…be expecting an email on it soon. 😀

    I’ll spare you the repeated thanks for joining the GRAND Social blurb. But…thanks!

  3. *I remember* thinking I was going to be pregnant forever! This was back in the day when inducing was only done if Mom or Baby was in jeopardy. My due date was July 7th. My daughter was finally born on August 2nd and yes — she was huge! When my granddaughter was born they induced when she went 3 days past the due date. While I was 4 weeks late my labor was very easy and she delivered 40 minutes after we got to the hospital — we had to wait for the doctor to get there to push. Jenna was 3 days late and in terrible painful labor for about 12 hours after they induced her. I think sometimes babies know best when they are ready to face this world! I am so excited for you — this is going to be an E-ticket ride for sure!

    • Mrs. Tucker says:

      I was induced and I said to the doc that they had gotten the due date wrong, that Boy needed to cook a bit more (sure, i bawled like a baby when they told me i hadn’t even *started* acting like I was about to deliver when they induced me…but i, too, was ready to have that baby out)

      What’s an E-ticket?

  4. Patti, I love your site! I especially love your memories of being pregnant and your thoughts and fears. I was just the same….One night before my oldest son was born, I walked the house crying for a while about how our lives would change and with worries of being the best mom in the world . He was very much planned and prayed for, but I know you understand all the emotions that were boiling inside me. I finally sat down and wrote my husband a letter expressing everything going on inside me (I didn’t want to wake him up! haha). Then, I was able to sleep.

    Five years later, I did the same thing before he started kindergarten! Once again, I wrote a letter….but this time to my son. When he started college, I wrote yet again! I repeated this for my younger son as well. The “kindergarten letters” are in my cedar chest all sealed up, ready for them to read someday when they go through my things. I suppose I will write more letters someday before they marry and before they have kids of their own.

    • Mrs. Tucker says:

      Oh, I’m so glad you like it! Your comment made me cry. I love the idea of your boys finding and reading these letters. I have felt the same as you when Boy started school and again when he left for college and even when he got married and now as he’s about t become a daddy! It’s those big steps, that we happily work towards, that take our mommy breaths away, aren’t they!

      Thank you so much for coming here a (and liking the site!) and sharing.

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  2. […] I was pregnant with Boy, I was the first in my large group of friends to have a baby; I would be the go-to mommy for […]

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