What Type Of Parent Are You?

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I found this chart fascinating:

Parenting Styles Graphic

source: Parenting Styles Info From BetterParenting.com

I was an authoritative kinda mom.  What about you?

Here’s the part I find interesting: Given the types of parenting styes there are, I wonder about grandparenting styles.

If I had to guess, I’d say we’ll grandparent with direction, but with way less stress because we aren’t the parents.

So will that mean as grandparents we’ll be permissive?  I think more so than we were as parents, but it’s kinda early in the game to know.

What do you guys think?  What kind of parents are/were you? What kind of grandparents are you?


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  1. I hope I’m authoritative, but it’s hard to know exactly since my son is still so young. I want to raise him to happy and self-assertive like the chart says.

    • Mrs. Tucker says

      We didn’t always get it right, but I’d say that the majority of the time we stuck to our guns on our parenting-style…and it worked! Thanks for visiting!

  2. I’m a developmental psychologist. This is an excellent graphic! The 2×2 grid of parenting styles is such an important idea and doesn’t get nearly the publicity it deserves.

    I had authoritaTIVE parents. A lot of the kids around me had authoritaRIAN parents. (I wish the people who named these styles had chosen two terms that are a little more different! It’s confusing!) I really saw a difference in those kids’ ability to control themselves when adults weren’t watching, their hostility and low levels of trust, and their sneaky behaviors and lying, compared to kids whose parents were more like mine–so although I didn’t learn about the 4 styles until college, I was not surprised when I did! My son is 8 now, and I am an authoritative parent; when I’m tempted to be one of the other kinds, I remember the consequences.

    I think of it as the “We Do This.” style of parenting: “We’re all people together. This is what we do. I’m a more experienced person, so I’ll help you learn how it’s done.” Explaining is important, but a lot of things will just work out if you confidently state that this is what we do, and do it.

    • Mrs. Tucker says

      We were the first of our large group of friends to have a kiddo, so all eyes were on us. Husband and I took, what we thought to be, a loving yet, firm, approach to raising our son. He knew the boundaries. He knew we would always love him. He wasn’t happy about some of it, but lo and behold it was the best way to raise him. He grew to a very self-assured and competent young man, who still welcomes our company (yay!).

      Keeping the consequences of OUR actions in mind doesn’t make it easier in the short-run while we parent, but I can testify, in the end it was well worth the result. We parented with openness and truth. I’m sure it will spill over in our grandparenting as well. Respect is key. Not only for the kiddos towards their parents, but for those who parent these little miracles, who one day grow-up and enter the world.

      Thanks for visiting and sharing your thoughts. I appreciate it!

  3. Great chart! I try to be authoritative, but my son is only 17 months old and he is still a little angel, so I don’t have much experience with discipline! I agree with the parenting styles listed under authoritative. I have a few friends that are more of a permissive style, allowing their toddler to “make their own choices” and “say no to anything” when they want to. I guess there are worse types of parenting….

    • Mrs. Tucker says

      HA! I love the little angel stage. (enjoy it, momma!) I was always that kid who functioned better when I understood the reasoning behind actions, so maybe that’s why I parented with so much info. Although, my guess is that we all fall into all of these categories at some point during parenting. Thanks for coming by…come back soon!

  4. Thanks for sharing this. Linda

  5. Wonderful chart. I would definitely say I was an authoritative mom. As a Grandmother I don’t think of myself as being Permissive but more Mellow than I was as a Mom. Amara definitely has rules here but you can be a little louder, a little sillier, a little more animated when you are at Grandma’s house and it will be OK.

    • Mrs. Tucker says

      Perfect definition: more mellow. That’s how I see me as a grandmother. Still have rules, but more mellow. Amara is a lucky gal!

  6. My husband and I were both authoritative and stuck together in all decisions regarding our daughters. I believe that’s important when raising children. Very interesting post.

  7. Great post and a fascinating chart. I would say that I was an authoritative parent. I see similarities in the way my daughter is raising her daughter–except I see instances of permissiveness (as defined in your chart), which does sometimes seem to overwhelm both of them! As a grandmother, I support the way my daughter and her husband choose to do things, but I still have my own ways. As I pointed out to my granddaughter (during a tooth-brushing standoff), “I don’t count to three!” She brushed her teeth… They spend more time bargaining and explaining than I ever did! Lots of stuff to think about during my visit next week…

    • Mrs. Tucker says

      As Sweet E grows, I do wonder about this stuff. My inlaws always backed us up in whatever we decided as parents. I learned a lot from them on how to be good grandparents.

  8. Great post.

  9. grands can get away with murder here lol ….being strict was for their dad! 🙂

  10. Alice (@mumsmakelists) says

    Interesting post – have a horrible feeling I veer between all 4!

    Thanks so much for linking up Alice xxx

  11. Wow that is great info! Love the chart. I’m not sure which one I fall into for sure; guess I should ask my kids. I think I may have been all of them at times. I think my kids all turned out great and didn’t really have many issues during the teens years. I thank God for that and give Him the credit. I sure can’t take it! Thanks for lining up with me 🙂

  12. I think I’m authoritative when they are young, but now that my big boy is older I can be permissive with him because I have taught him well and trust him. Thanks for sharing this great chart!

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