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What I’ll Tell Sweet E: How To Choose

Dear Sweet E,

One day I won’t be here to offer my advice on how to choose well, so these words will have to serve.

How to Choose (anything)?

A college?

A car?

A movie?

A companion?



When I was growing up, I had to rely on the wisdom of those who had gone before me, of my elders (hey! that’s me!), as well as books.

We didn’t have a shiny digital brain, known as the Internet. We did our figuring out the hard way. So. Hard.

You have an advantage – you have the literal digital world of knowledge at your fingertips.

The hard part for you will be: how do you know what to keep and what to toss?

How do you choose?


It’s a hard call, I know.

There’s so frickin’ much of the glorious low-hanging fruit, you just wanna grab it all and run to your hidey-hole, gorging on its goodness till you puke out the GUARANTEED! results of what was promised.

Or something like that.

Here’s my rule of thumb:

Ignore any information/situation/person – no matter how amazing – that doesn’t resonate with you.

(yep, even if that wisdom comes from me)


Why would I tell you to ignore any wisdom I might try to impart, born from my years of experiences and hard-won battles? Especially since I only have your very best interests at heart?

If it doesn’t make sense to you, to your situation, it’s a waste of time.

I am guilty of listening to the noise, thinking I gotta do that…I gotta buy that…I gotta…

Sound familiar?

When I was new to building my business (maybe for you it’s getting into a great school or finding a new direction for your life – this still applies), I listened to the noise of those who swore they knew what was best for my path (just writing that down made me laugh…ballsy, yo).

Regrettable results: it bogged down real progress and wasted my valuable time.

As you travel the vast highways of information, and are bombarded with the prevailing wisdom of the day (ever’one is doing THIS!), with the latest and greatest in wisdom (studies show!), with the don’t-miss-out wisdom (if you don’t act NOW!…), but are feeling anxious that it might not be for you, yet don’t want to regret not acting…take a beat.

That hesitation you’re feeling means that the wisdom, the information offered, doesn’t resonate with you and your unique situation and as such will not move you forward in a lasting way.

Instead, it will bog you down in remorse.

Following the crowd, when it clearly isn’t your thing – don’t do that.

Think about your most trusted family and friends.

Think about any bits and pieces they’ve offered you in hopes of smoothing your path.

Think about how many times you’ve politely listened, yet set aside their wisdom because you felt, you were certain, it didn’t apply.

You made a strong decision. You didn’t fear the what-ifs.

My guess is you moved forward in confidence because what was offered wasn’t helpful. That. Do more of that when you come across most of the so-called wisdom on any information train, the Internet especially.

You have a brain, a gut, that you can rely on to decipher if any wisdom offered is helpful to you.

And if it’s not, keep it moving, bub.

Screw that noise and the promises.

How do you know when the wisdom offered is for you?

When you hear something that resonates, information that speaks to you, you have a physical reaction: eyebrows dart up, pupils become focused and bright, a delighted Ooooo exhales from between pursed lips.

You lean forward, hone in, pay attention, suddenly eager to accept the portion served.

That’s the stuff.

Keep what resonates to you.

In contrast, when prevailing wisdom needs to be chucked (no matter how highly regarded it is), when it isn’t a good fit, you’re hesitant, you take a poll, you make a pro/con list, you sleep on it, you debate, you drink, you stress eat, you go back over the lists, you drive everyone around you nuts – basically, you waste precious time.


Wisdom abounds. Ignore anything that doesn’t resonate and move you forward.

That’s it. That’s the secret sauce. That’s how you make a solid decision about anything.

FYI: You will make bad decisions. It’s OKAY! Learn from them and make better ones next time.

All my squishy love,





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Friday 28th of September 2018

solid wisdom here. I always tell my daughter that very rarely does any decision need to be made in a hurry. A few minutes of extra thought can save a whole lot of trouble down the road #happynow

Patti Tucker

Friday 28th of September 2018

Thanks, Jeremy...your tag line made me laugh. Love it. Cheers!

Christie Hawkes

Tuesday 25th of September 2018

Solid advice. If you learn to listen to--and trust--your instincts, that goes a long way in making the choices that are right for you. And as you pointed out, even the mistakes lead you eventually to where you want to be. Better to make your own mistakes then someone else's. I found your blog on the GRAND Social.

Patti Tucker

Tuesday 25th of September 2018

"Better to make your own mistakes then someone else’s." < THIS!

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