Optimist or Just Plain Naive?

I’m an optimist.  Things are gonna work out, baby. < See?  Optimism.

My father used to tell me that I was the most naive person he knew.  That life wasn’t all sunshine and blue birds, Sunshine.

Optimist or Just Plain Naive?

I’d kiss his cheek, tell him I loved him and that it wasn’t naivety that he was witnessing, it was trust.

I might have been wrong.  Oh man, I might have been the most naive person he knew.

Let me backtrack.  When I say “trust” that only applies to those I know and love, and um, trust.  If you’re one of those people, and you tell me anything, I’m believing the words coming out of your mouth.  Trust, yo.

Recently, I had the opportunity to grasp the concept that some that I love might not be worthy of that trust.  I’d been told by some that I should guard against believing this one’s words, but as one does that loves another, I brushed off what they saw; I refused to open my eyes to the truth.

Today I see.

I’ve been duped.  I’ve been too trusting.  I’ve been naive.

I wondered, in the aftermath, if my father was sending me a saddened I told you so.

The thing is…there’s always a thing, right?…is that I wanted to believe.  I couldn’t bring myself to consider that the words I was being told might not be the truth.  I mean, they loved me too, right?  Why would someone who loves me lie to me?  Over and over and over and over again?

I still don’t have an answer for that.

I’ve blamed myself.  Maybe I was this or wasn’t that. Maybe they saw no other way.  Maybe they thought it was a kindness.

That nonsense stopped the moment I saw. It was as if I actually heard someone snap their fingers and I was in a different reality of seeing the truth.  ~SNAP~ No more blame.

There is no reason to lie to someone you love, over the course of years, for any reason other than life or death.  Or at least, that’s how I see it.

Lesson learned.  Or is it?

On one hand, I am still that optimistic soul.  It’s my DNA, baby.  I gots my own personal bluebird flock.

On the other, there is now one person whose words will be worthy of a higher level of scrutiny before I believe whatever it is that comes out of their mouth.  Gotta pay if you’re gonna play that game, right?

Right.

I prayed for peace after my moment of clarity and the unveiling of what had previously been hidden.  Peace for me that I wouldn’t strike back in anger and peace for the person that had lied so easily and freely.

Since then, I have gotten my peace, as I pray they have gotten theirs.

After a few days had passed and I had time to reflect without the heat of fresh anger, I wondered if my dad had been right all along.  Was I the most naive person he had ever known or was I simply trusting those I loved?

I’m going with the latter.  I’m always going with trust.  It’s how I’m bent.

That is unless I’m shown otherwise.

Come on bluebirds!  Let’s fly!

 

 

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Comments

  1. I am an Optimist! I am going to keep telling myself that. Loved this post and shared.

    • Thanks, Lisa! I can’t imagine my life any other way (as I’m sure you can’t). I’ll keep trusting until folks give me a reason not to. Lead with love, baby. Thanks for sharing.

  2. I am TOO TOO trusting of people.. those I love , those I don’t and those I don’t know. I guess if they’ve never crossed me or lied, I figure.. why not trust them. It has bitten me before tho.

    • Folks I love = I trust. Folks I don’t know = You gotta earn it, yet I’m completely open to building trust. I understand we are human and fallible, but this particular moment was big, bigger than I ever expected, and it’s a horrible feeling. Yet, onward I go…with a healthy dose of side-eye skepticism.

  3. I think I’m too paranoid. I don’t trust very many people. I’m always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Does that make me a pessimist? Hmm. Lots to think about with this post. 🙂

  4. As a natural-born cynical mother to a raving OPTIMIST, I cringe for all the hurt, but I’m so proud of her openness and goodness. Envy!

  5. I have been ‘duped’ in similar ways in the past but when you expect the best out of everyone, that’s just what happens sometimes. We will both be lied to in the future but hopefully will continue to trust even so. Thanks for sharing.

  6. I would like to say I am an optimist but at times I am not

  7. Angela D. says:

    I loved this post, Patti– not for what happened– I’m sorry about that! I think you’re right in saying optimism and pessimism aren’t always tied into trust. I believe I’m one of those “careful” optimists, blindly trusting those I already trust and love, but rarely trusting strangers. Thanks for sharing this thought provoking topic!

  8. I’m with you. I’ll always go with trust, and hope that I’m justified

  9. I’m such an optimist as well. I would hate to live life being suspicious of everyone and super guarded. That said, I think it is important for us to be aware of who and how we let people into our lives. I’m sorry you had to deal with someone who took advantage of your trust, but I’m glad to see it didn’t leave you jaded! Stopping by from the Wonderful Wednesday Blog Hop.

    • Bev, you are absolutely right in the fact that I’d hate to be suspicious and guarded of people because of someone else’s actions. Thanks for coming by…come back any time!

  10. You have to be who you are. One person shouldn’t shake our belief in the goodness in the world, but it is hard when it happens to remind ourselves of that.

    Saw this on Wonderful Wednesday.

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