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Optimist or Just Plain Naive?

I’m an optimist.  Things are gonna work out, baby. < See?  Optimism.

My father used to tell me that I was the most naive person he knew.  That life wasn’t all sunshine and blue birds, Sunshine.

Optimist or Just Plain Naive?

I’d kiss his cheek, tell him I loved him and that it wasn’t naivety that he was witnessing, it was trust.

I might have been wrong.  Oh man, I might have been the most naive person he knew.

Let me backtrack.  When I say “trust” that only applies to those I know and love, and um, trust.  If you’re one of those people, and you tell me anything, I’m believing the words coming out of your mouth.  Trust, yo.

Recently, I had the opportunity to grasp the concept that some that I love might not be worthy of that trust.  I’d been told by some that I should guard against believing this one’s words, but as one does that loves another, I brushed off what they saw; I refused to open my eyes to the truth.

Today I see.

I’ve been duped.  I’ve been too trusting.  I’ve been naive.

I wondered, in the aftermath, if my father was sending me a saddened I told you so.

The thing is…there’s always a thing, right?…is that I wanted to believe.  I couldn’t bring myself to consider that the words I was being told might not be the truth.  I mean, they loved me too, right?  Why would someone who loves me lie to me?  Over and over and over and over again?

I still don’t have an answer for that.

I’ve blamed myself.  Maybe I was this or wasn’t that. Maybe they saw no other way.  Maybe they thought it was a kindness.

That nonsense stopped the moment I saw. It was as if I actually heard someone snap their fingers and I was in a different reality of seeing the truth.  ~SNAP~ No more blame.

There is no reason to lie to someone you love, over the course of years, for any reason other than life or death.  Or at least, that’s how I see it.

Lesson learned.  Or is it?

On one hand, I am still that optimistic soul.  It’s my DNA, baby.  I gots my own personal bluebird flock.

On the other, there is now one person whose words will be worthy of a higher level of scrutiny before I believe whatever it is that comes out of their mouth.  Gotta pay if you’re gonna play that game, right?

Right.

I prayed for peace after my moment of clarity and the unveiling of what had previously been hidden.  Peace for me that I wouldn’t strike back in anger and peace for the person that had lied so easily and freely.

Since then, I have gotten my peace, as I pray they have gotten theirs.

After a few days had passed and I had time to reflect without the heat of fresh anger, I wondered if my dad had been right all along.  Was I the most naive person he had ever known or was I simply trusting those I loved?

I’m going with the latter.  I’m always going with trust.  It’s how I’m bent.

That is unless I’m shown otherwise.

Come on bluebirds!  Let’s fly!

 

 

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Audrey

Friday 14th of November 2014

You have to be who you are. One person shouldn't shake our belief in the goodness in the world, but it is hard when it happens to remind ourselves of that.

Saw this on Wonderful Wednesday.

Patti Tucker

Friday 14th of November 2014

Agreed, 100%. Thanks, Audrey.

Bev

Wednesday 12th of November 2014

I'm such an optimist as well. I would hate to live life being suspicious of everyone and super guarded. That said, I think it is important for us to be aware of who and how we let people into our lives. I'm sorry you had to deal with someone who took advantage of your trust, but I'm glad to see it didn't leave you jaded! Stopping by from the Wonderful Wednesday Blog Hop.

Patti Tucker

Wednesday 12th of November 2014

Bev, you are absolutely right in the fact that I'd hate to be suspicious and guarded of people because of someone else's actions. Thanks for coming by...come back any time!

Mel Brammer

Sunday 9th of November 2014

I'm with you. I'll always go with trust, and hope that I'm justified

Patti Tucker

Sunday 9th of November 2014

#truth Good for you, Mel!

Angela D.

Saturday 8th of November 2014

I loved this post, Patti-- not for what happened-- I'm sorry about that! I think you're right in saying optimism and pessimism aren't always tied into trust. I believe I'm one of those "careful" optimists, blindly trusting those I already trust and love, but rarely trusting strangers. Thanks for sharing this thought provoking topic!

Patti Tucker

Saturday 8th of November 2014

Thank you, Angela. I like the term careful optimist. I have definitely worn those shoes!

Jo-Anne

Friday 7th of November 2014

I would like to say I am an optimist but at times I am not

Patti Tucker

Saturday 8th of November 2014

That might be true of all of us.