What Grandma Drinks: DIY Edition

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The What Grandma Drinks series is about to get serious.  We’re talking pipe-wrench serious.

Y’all sit down and pay attention.  Grandmama wants to tell you a story entitled: Why All Gals Need Tools.

I dabble in the DIY pond.  Husband is happy to share his tools with me (so many “that’s what she said” jokes), as I’m happy to share mine with him (ahem).  Thankfully, we have a garage FULL of tools, so I usually have the right tool for the job.  (Note to robbers: we also have camera surveillance and employ a Ninja on an as-needed basis).

As you’ve no doubt heard many a manly men say: Use the right tool for the job.

Yes.  Always.  ~burp~  ~scratch~  ~readjust~

Ladies, don’t roll your eyes; tools are a gal’s best friend.

Late last winter, during hunting season, while Husband was off on a boy’s weekend, I was home alone.

As I was mixing an after-hours cocktail, at the end of a very busy day, I needed a dash of TripleSec and couldn’t get the screw-off top to budge. Not even a hint of a movement.

Oh, Grandmutter!

I ran it under hot water.  Nothing.  I gently tapped it against the counter.  Nyet.  I cussed it out, rethought my burst of rudeness, then begged for sweet mercy.  PLEASE UNSCREW!  Nope, not even a smidge.

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So, I did as all self-respecting DIYers would do: I DID IT MYSELF….with the help of a pipe wrench.

Say it with me: PIPE WRENCH!  RAWR!  (burp/scratch/readjust)  It’s a powerful thang, y’all.

Witness: OFF, DAMN CAP!

What Grandma Drinks: DIY Edition


CAPTAIN, we need more leverage!  More torque!  (unexpected bonus workout for your thighs!)

What Grandma Drinks: DIY Edition


Annnnnd, SUCCESS!

What Grandma Drinks: DIY Edition

Ladies, don’t ever doubt me again when I share the unconventional with you.  One day it may save your life, or at the very least your delicious drink.

Thus ends Mrs. Tucker’s tale of Why All Gals Need Tools.

The End


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  1. Now that’s WOMAN POWER if I ever saw it – who says we need men to open our bottles for us?? 😉

  2. Love it! I’d like to know what the cocktail was that you were making. 😉

  3. Nicely done!

  4. Success without even having to dip into the power tools! Well done! Burp, scratch.

  5. Simply awesome 🙂

  6. Alvina Castro says

    too funny!

  7. I love this post! too funny, just when I needed a laugh, you ROCK w/ your drink makin tools!! 🙂 Michelle

  8. My husband gave me a HUMONGOUS set of Craftsman tools for Christmas, with the explicit orders that no one touch them. I’ve been complaining that my tools have gone missing, mostly from others using them and not putting them back, for YEARS. No pipe wrench, but I think a one of those shiny new locking pliers would also do the trick. Thanks for the giggles!

    • Mrs. Tucker says

      DANG! That’s a great gift! And I think you’re right; locking pliers would do the trick. Where there’s a will…

      Thank you for the laugh!


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