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What Grandma Drinks: DIY Edition

The What Grandma Drinks series is about to get serious.  We’re talking pipe-wrench serious.

Y’all sit down and pay attention.  Grandmama wants to tell you a story entitled: Why All Gals Need Tools.

I dabble in the DIY pond.  Husband is happy to share his tools with me (so many “that’s what she said” jokes), as I’m happy to share mine with him (ahem).  Thankfully, we have a garage FULL of tools, so I usually have the right tool for the job.  (Note to robbers: we also have camera surveillance and employ a Ninja on an as-needed basis).

As you’ve no doubt heard many a manly men say: Use the right tool for the job.

Yes.  Always.  ~burp~  ~scratch~  ~readjust~

Ladies, don’t roll your eyes; tools are a gal’s best friend.

Late last winter, during hunting season, while Husband was off on a boy’s weekend, I was home alone.

As I was mixing an after-hours cocktail, at the end of a very busy day, I needed a dash of TripleSec and couldn’t get the screw-off top to budge. Not even a hint of a movement.

Oh, Grandmutter!

I ran it under hot water.  Nothing.  I gently tapped it against the counter.  Nyet.  I cussed it out, rethought my burst of rudeness, then begged for sweet mercy.  PLEASE UNSCREW!  Nope, not even a smidge.

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So, I did as all self-respecting DIYers would do: I DID IT MYSELF….with the help of a pipe wrench.

Say it with me: PIPE WRENCH!  RAWR!  (burp/scratch/readjust)  It’s a powerful thang, y’all.

Witness: OFF, DAMN CAP!

What Grandma Drinks: DIY Edition

 

CAPTAIN, we need more leverage!  More torque!  (unexpected bonus workout for your thighs!)

What Grandma Drinks: DIY Edition

 

Annnnnd, SUCCESS!

What Grandma Drinks: DIY Edition

Ladies, don’t ever doubt me again when I share the unconventional with you.  One day it may save your life, or at the very least your delicious drink.

Thus ends Mrs. Tucker’s tale of Why All Gals Need Tools.

The End

 

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What Grandma Drinks: The Neighborhood Edition

Monday 8th of February 2016

[…] I don’t know how this happened, but apparently I’ve become the drop-off for boxes of booze when my neighbors move […]

Joan @ The Chicken Mama

Friday 17th of January 2014

My husband gave me a HUMONGOUS set of Craftsman tools for Christmas, with the explicit orders that no one touch them. I've been complaining that my tools have gone missing, mostly from others using them and not putting them back, for YEARS. No pipe wrench, but I think a one of those shiny new locking pliers would also do the trick. Thanks for the giggles!

Mrs. Tucker

Saturday 18th of January 2014

DANG! That's a great gift! And I think you're right; locking pliers would do the trick. Where there's a will...

Thank you for the laugh!

Michelle

Thursday 16th of January 2014

I love this post! too funny, just when I needed a laugh, you ROCK w/ your drink makin tools!! :) Michelle

Mrs. Tucker

Thursday 16th of January 2014

HA! Now you know what to ask Santa for next year: your very own pipe wrench!

Alvina Castro

Wednesday 15th of January 2014

too funny!

Mrs. Tucker

Wednesday 15th of January 2014

LOL!

Jessica

Tuesday 14th of January 2014

Simply awesome :)

Mrs. Tucker

Tuesday 14th of January 2014

You forgot to scratch...and burp...