I’d like to say three things before this post gets underway:
#1) I’m certified.
#2) I’m happy to share most of my embarrassing foibles in hopes of a laugh. We need more laughs.
#3) The German (my mother…and yes, I call her that) is right: I have no shame.
What follows is a recent conversation I had with Husband:
Me to Husband: Did you notice how weird the coffee tasted this morning?
H: Yeah. What was wrong with it?
M: I have no idea. I thought you did something to it.
M: OMGOSH! The cream is sour! (we had opened the carton the day before, so never suspected)
H: Gross. I drank all of my coffee, even came home for a second cup!
M: ~gagging~ I drank all of my first cup, then went back for a second! What the hell is wrong with us?
Hand to God, this is our life.
Weirder yet, I have video evidence, pre-gag-inducing revelation.
DON’T LET THIS HAPPEN TO YOU! (as if. you guys are waaaay smarter. or at the very least, more awake.)