It’s been a month, 4 weeks and one day, of growing into my new role as Grandmutter (?), Grannna (?), Geema (?), and I want to share some unexpected truths I’ve learned. Nothing but the best for you, my sweet readers.
Let’s bullet point this truth-down, shall we?
* I love my family deeply. This love is crimson and wild and unconstrained, spilling and splashing its overwhelming goodness on anyone brave enough to get close.
* When I married Husband, I thought I knew all there was to know about the well of love.
* When I had Boy, I knew there was more to love than I previously thought to be true.
* When Boy married Girl, I suddenly had a daughter that wasn’t from my own womb, but that I now love as if she had been mine all along.
* When Boy and Girl gave us Sweet E, love expanded in ways I thought impossible.
* Watching Husband with his grandson for the first time nearly brought me to my knees. He is a spectacular father, a loving and faithful husband, yet that day I watched him grow into a giant of a good man.
* Watching Boy with his son for the first time, and subsequent times after, has been a gift I never knew to be one of the greatest this world has to offer. My love for my child is legendary. Witnessing his young-man-to-father leap astonishes my heart. From the day of Sweet E’s birth to the end of my time here, my love for Boy officially exceeds the legend.
* Watching Girl become a mother before my very eyes was nothing short of faith becoming flesh. She was transformed and I was transfixed. We were on holy ground as the circle of life swept us out in the sea of love.
* I am a toe-in-the-water kinda gal. My MO is to get the lay of the land before jumping in, but when I jump, I’m all in. When Sweet E was born, I felt myself watching from a bit of a distance. As a writer, I observe; it’s second nature. I felt myself hold back. Last week, when I went to help for a week, I jumped in. Now, I’m hopelessly in love with that child.
* I thought I was filled pre-E; I thought my love o’meter was pegged. Had I learned nothing in this life?! I honestly thought that we’d eagerly welcome this new edition with open and grateful arms, but I hadn’t counted on how my heart would grow, how our hearts would be filled to overflowing….again!
Those of you who have read here for a while, know I worried about how I would handle this new role as a grandmama. It felt foreign and awkward. I didn’t feel grandmothery. How do I do that?!
I shouldn’t have worried. Sweet E is here and he has taken ahold of my heart and led me to understanding; I have love and it’s enough.
Fill me up, baby!