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Fill Me Up, Baby

It’s been a month, 4 weeks and one day, of growing into my new role as Grandmutter (?), Grannna (?), Geema (?), and I want to share some unexpected truths I’ve learned.  Nothing but the best for you, my sweet readers.

Let’s bullet point this truth-down, shall we?

* I love my family deeply.  This love is crimson and wild and unconstrained, spilling and splashing its overwhelming goodness on anyone brave enough to get close.

* When I married Husband, I thought I knew all there was to know about the well of love.

* When I had Boy, I knew there was more to love than I previously thought to be true.

* When Boy married Girl, I suddenly had a daughter that wasn’t from my own womb, but that I now love as if she had been mine all along.

* When Boy and Girl gave us Sweet E, love expanded in ways I thought impossible.

* Watching Husband with his grandson for the first time nearly brought me to my knees.  He is a spectacular father, a loving and faithful husband, yet that day I watched him grow into a giant of a good man.

* Watching Boy with his son for the first time, and subsequent times after, has been a gift I never knew to be one of the greatest this world has to offer. My love for my child is legendary. Witnessing his young-man-to-father leap astonishes my heart. From the day of Sweet E’s birth to the end of my time here, my love for Boy officially exceeds the legend.

* Watching Girl become a mother before my very eyes was nothing short of faith becoming flesh.  She was transformed and I was transfixed.  We were on holy ground as the circle of life swept us out in the sea of love.

* I am a toe-in-the-water kinda gal.  My MO is to get the lay of the land before jumping in, but when I jump, I’m all in.  When Sweet E was born, I felt myself watching from a bit of a distance.  As a writer, I observe; it’s second nature.  I felt myself hold back.  Last week, when I went to help for a week, I jumped in. Now, I’m hopelessly in love with that child.

* I thought I was filled pre-E; I thought my love o’meter was pegged.  Had I learned nothing in this life?!  I honestly thought that we’d eagerly welcome this new edition with open and grateful arms, but I hadn’t counted on how my heart would grow, how our hearts would be filled to overflowing….again!

Those of you who have read here for a while, know I worried about how I would handle this new role as a grandmama.  It felt foreign and awkward.  I didn’t feel grandmothery.  How do I do that?!

I shouldn’t have worried.  Sweet E is here and he has taken ahold of my heart and led me to understanding; I have love and it’s enough.

Fill me up, baby!

Fill Me Up, Baby!

 

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Sinea Pies

Saturday 23rd of March 2013

Oh Mrs. Tucker, you sing my song. I have had a bumpier experience than you in "grandma world" but God has been faithful to make everything new. My kids, grand kids and great grands are the loves of my life. My husband is growing in his role, as well. It's all very wonderful. Thank you so much for sharing this link on Wonderful Wednesday Blog Hop. Please come back again next week.

Blessings, Sinea Ducks ‘n a Row

Mrs. Tucker

Saturday 23rd of March 2013

Thank you so much for the comment, and I'm glad to read that things are moving in a positive direction.

Alice (@mumsmakelists)

Tuesday 19th of March 2013

Such a beautiful post - Alice x

Mrs. Tucker

Tuesday 19th of March 2013

Thank you :)

Dona

Monday 18th of March 2013

This post made me subscribe to your blog because you practically described me. I felt, all over again, my girl's births and my grandkids births. NOW I have 2 GREAT-grandbabies...and I watch as my precious granddaughter grows into an astonishing mother. And the love just grows. Thanks for sharing.

Mrs. Tucker

Monday 18th of March 2013

Your comment is incredibly humbling. Thank you. And your granddaughter is a mother?! ~faint~

Allyson

Monday 18th of March 2013

Wow, such a sweet baby!

Mrs. Tucker

Monday 18th of March 2013

OMGOSH! I kinda feel the same way ;)

Grandma Kc

Sunday 17th of March 2013

Sweet E is just beautiful and so understand what you are saying. Until you get there you just can't know how much fuller your heart can get -- and it ain't over!

Mrs. Tucker

Sunday 17th of March 2013

Gotta live it to know, I think. Can't wait for more fun...MORE FUN!